My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
