And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
