After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
