Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
