Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
