I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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