i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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