Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
