i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
