This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
