I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Randomize