Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
