I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
