sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
