if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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