you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
