At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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