the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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