he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
