i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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