literally had 100 drinks last night.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
