what day is it and did you see me today?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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