Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
