he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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