dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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