Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
