I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Randomize
