im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
