It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize