He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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