walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize