When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
What a dumb baby whore.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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