just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
