The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
