There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
