i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This baby is an asshole
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
