he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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