Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
