I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You have to summon your inner elephant
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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