I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize