Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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