Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
