ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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