Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
