Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
