Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
