I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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