Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
