after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
