sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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