I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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