I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I supernannyed him into submission
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
