DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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