After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
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