You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
