plz talk dirty to me
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
