it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize