You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
