Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
