My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
