We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
