hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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