Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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