No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
